I Want a Fat Canadian Lady
"I've been losing weight," I mentioned to a friend. He tilted his head to one side and looked concerned. "That's terrible," Ayou said. "What is it about our country that's doing that to you?" Ayou...
View ArticleSneaking Sex
Even though Nigeriens tend to be reserved and Niger is a conservative, predominantly Muslim country, evidence that men and women enjoy each other's bodies is everywhere. The average woman in Niger...
View ArticleFaire La Fête
Until my friend invited me I hadn't realized how much I missed dancing. But then I started to worry: did I still remember how? Would I be the oldest lady in the nightclub and garner a hundred angry...
View ArticleOn African Fathers and an American Dad
In Niger men and women pray separately, eat separately, and play very different roles in the family. It's unheard of to have a joint bank account. (Why share your money with your husband when he could...
View ArticleBack to America
"When you said you were going away for a year--" my aunt Judy began as we were driving in the car to her favorite shoe store in the East Bay. "--an academic year," I interrupted. "Only ten months." "It...
View ArticleSo How Was Africa?
"So how was Africa?" is the first question every relative and friend asks my children. It's a sincere question but it makes me grind my teeth. First of all, Africa is a continent, not a country. Second...
View ArticleOn Rejection: Part I
Although I make my living as a writer and an editor, I hate getting rejected. So I've given myself the same New Year's resolution for two years in a row: to get more rejections. Remember Psych 101 in...
View ArticleOn Rejection: Part II
If you read my last column, you know that I believe writers should actually seek and embrace rejection as a means to conquer our fears about it, and ultimately to get published along the way. That, of...
View ArticlePoker Face
My father swears he put me through college with his poker winnings. Taciturn, logical, and restrained, my father plays poker with a quiet consistency that often outwits more eager gamblers. The oval...
View ArticleTransitions
It's 2:27 in the morning. The whir of the fan and the sound of my husband's breathing do little to quiet my thoughts. Instead of sleeping, I've spent the last three hours taking care of details...
View ArticleExposed
I envy parents who feel comfortable giving their children Benadryl to help them sleep on airplanes. It seems like such a good idea: the children sleep peacefully and experience less jet lag; the...
View ArticleNo Place to Lay Our Heads
"We can't stay here," my husband says after we've been in the house we rented sight-unseen only two days. "We need to leave. Today. Now. I can't take much more of this." There are myriad problems with...
View ArticleSchool Worries
Walking to my daughter's kindergarten, we pass a makeshift boutique that sells everything from soap to spicy peppers. Down an unmarked sandy road, we pass a herd of goats nibbling on cut bushes, women...
View ArticleAt Playgroup in Africa the Topic is Kidnap
When we were leaving the States I worried about things like schistosomiasis and accidents. Car hijackings and kidnap had never crossed my mind.[Read more...]
View ArticleKids and Culture Shock
Everyone says that kids are more adaptable than adults. So before we moved overseas I figured my kids would have it easy. A new culture would be nothing more than another life experience for them....
View ArticleKeep an Eye on Your Husband
The first time I lived in Niger I was only 23, insecure, energetic, and libido-driven. I was lonely, craving intimacy and deeply attracted to Nigerien men with their smooth dark skin and lanky bodies....
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